Walking With God Through Your Loss

Perhaps the most common mistake families and friends make in helping others cope with grief is thinking we will be the same person we were before the loss of our loved one. Although they may mean well, this is an impossible request to fulfill.

We all have different ways of grieving when someone close to us dies. We found this out when my son Nathan, at age thirty one, died in May of 2009. I can’t explain how I came to accept the pain of my loss more quickly than other members of my family were able to, but surprisingly, I did. I now know that the source of my inner strength came from God. My faith in God is the best coping tool I have!

Two months after Nathan’s passing, my husband and I knew we had to rely more on our faith getting us through our grieving than anything or anyone else could do for us. We prayed for STRENGTH and GUIDANCE. And, that’s exactly what our dear Lord gave to us. We had to accept the fact that our son, Nathan, was never coming back to visit us in this life and we had to do our best to continue to live a productive life. Our greatest comfort came in helping others. We felt that by helping others, it took the focus off of our own heartaches and loss.

When you look at the five letters in the word FOCUS, remember to take the focus off of "U" and put it on "US". The "US" can stand for "unfortunate souls or unhappy spirit,"; something along this line . . . this is the way I look at it . . .when we can help someone who is in need and quit dwelling on our own problems and losses, we will find that our healing process has begun and that there is NO "time table" to this healing journey. Try not to fall victim to despair, guilt or resentment; instead, use your energy to fuel opportunities that you may not have had time for or even thought of before your loss.

Talk to others who have gone through a personal loss such as yours. You will learn that sharing your grief may lessen your pain and you will also come to understand that God and Time will be your healers.

I would like to close with a beautiful prayer that probably you already know but perhaps not the longer version. Read each line carefully and truly understand the message. You will find comfort each day, as we have, as we walk into a new chapter in our lives.

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever.

Submitted by . . . Donna Brummert, IHM Parishioner